Tefillah for the Sick

I'd been grappling with whether to be mispallel on behalf of an elderly sick relative of mine.

I approached the issue initially from the place of wanting him to get better, because my family and I love him and are attached to him and would miss him if he were gone. I then tried to find a "justification" for requesting this. I tried to fit it into a rational plan, to make it a tefillah rather than a wish.

Zooming from the cosmic perspective down, it seemed as if it didn't really matter much whether he died today or a few years from now. All humans die; it's part of the cycle of life on earth. And, even in terms of his death's effect on me, I will mourn his loss today or in a few weeks, months, or years- what is the difference really? I have an instinct to preserve myself and avoid/delay pain. But, in the ultimate scheme of things, what is the difference really when I experience this pain? Furthermore, this pain could be used as an impetus to further growth on my part (and the part of others).

Even at this point in my thought process, though, I could not bring myself to not be mispallel for his recovery. It felt wrong to withhold that; I felt guilty about it- even though I was also mispallel in shomaiah tefillah for guidance and clarification on this issue. I guess maybe some magical thinking was seeping into my tefillah. On some level, I felt that requesting his recovery could magically provide a cure. And, I felt that I would be partially responsible for his death if I didn't exhaust all of the options available to me in helping to ensure his recovery. And, it felt like if I really want something desperately, I should ask for it; I shouldn't wait until I can fit it into a rational plan. Also, I suspected it probably would fit into some rational plan, even if I didn't see how yet.(justifications?)

In the past, when I was mispallel for someone's recovery, the rational plan I fit it into often involved something like my peace of mind or my relationship with that person (or someone else's) being maintained so that I (or they) can continue to grow/develop. But, I was so locked into my emotional dalet ammos perspective that I experienced shichichah about this concept.
But, by the end of my Shemoneh Esrei, it occurred to me that he is a thinking person whose additional time on Earth could benefit him and/or other members of my family, including me in their growth.

I'm humiliated about some of these feelings and thought processes I went through. But, I'm sharing them anyway in the hopes that they might be useful to you and that you might help shed further light on this issue for me. Please feel free to question and comment!