Change the Ecosystem for Me!!!

I was feeling quite glum this afternoon and I decided to take a walk. I stepped outside of yeshiva, ready to feel refreshed . . . when I remembered I was in Far Rockaway in February. As I strolled down Reads lane - surrounded by bare trees against a backdrop of asphalt, brown grass adjacent to grey concrete, and scattered pieces of garbage blowing about - I was filled with a longing to be back in the lush greenness of Mercer Island. "Man, I wish I could go for a walk in a beautiful green forest in Far Rockaway! Why does everything have to be so ugly and dead?"

Just then, I did an involuntary zoom. I saw the earth floating in space, orbiting around the sun. I had a vague recollection that I was on the portion of the sphere that was currently lit by the sun, but that the effect of the sun on the earth was slightly weaker at this point, due to the latter's distance from its heat at this time of year. I became cognizant of the phenomenon of the cycle of seasons and their impact on the myriad ecosystems of planet earth.

This made me think about how damaging it would be to the ecosystem if my "wish" were granted. I remembered that the shedding of leaves was necessary for the fertility of the soil - what would happen if the leaves stayed on the trees year-round? I recalled the difference between deciduous and coniferous trees, and the different support systems they require - what would happen to the natural balance if the evergreens from Mercer Island were uprooted and planted around Far Rockaway? I thought about the various insects that disappear during the winter and the birds that fly south - what would happen to the food chain if it were spring or summer for the entire year?

And what would be required of the solar system to accommodate my wish? The earth would have to somehow remain the equal distance to the sun for the entire year, which - aside from the fact that it is impossible - would surely throw off the gravitational balance of the rest of the solar system, causing who knows what havoc!

Then I thought about my complaint at how ugly everything was. I realized that the true beauty of my surroundings was in the chochmah of their design, which is equally beautiful to the mind's eye no matter what season it happens to be. I realized that I was focusing exclusively on the material beauty and foregoing the beauty of the lawfulness. (See Avos 3:7)

Then I realized that not only was I focused on the lesser beauty, but the only reason I wanted to be surrounded in beauty in the first place was because I was in a bad mood. In other words, I wanted the whole ecosystem - and consequently, many other ecosystems and the solar system as well - to completely change, just to make me not sad.

Then I realized that this wasn't an illegitimate reason per se to desire beauty, provided that I wanted to restore my mood for the sake of yishuv ha'daas. When I thought about it, I remembered that this really was the reason I wanted to be in a better mood, but I had just forgotten. I thought about how I hadn't been able to learn so much during the day because of my mood, and that it would be much better for my development to be in a good mood again.

By the time I returned to my daled amos, I was feeling much better. Of course, that good feeling only lasted a few minutes, but oh well - that's the human condition!